One of my favourite nonsensical articles from Cracked of late is this instructional guide on how to deal with the moment you realise you’re accidentally stalking Oscar-winning actress Helen Mirren.
But I don’t hate Helen Mirren at all.
That’s odd. Do you really love her instead? Like so much that you’d get kind of weird about it? Can you imagine yourself holding her over the rim of a volcano, vowing to destroy her if you can’t have her?
I cannot. I’ve got no strong feelings at all about Helen Mirren, and volcanoes are infrequent in this area.
Hmm. In that case, you’ve probably gotten tangled up in one of those Strangers on a Train type situations, where you made a bargain with a stranger to do something for you in exchange for harassing Helen Mirren.